Anniversaries are a great time for couples to reconnect with each other. Some of the most memorable anniversaries are quiet times when you can talk about your life together and how you want to grow as a couple. Questions are a good way to increase understanding, empathy, and bonding. Even though you may think you know each other well, thoughtful questions can strengthen your bond.
Do you have an anniversary coming up? Consider setting aside time with each other to ask questions and brainstorm ideas to strengthen your relationship. Who knows? You might discover something surprising that helps your relationship grow.
Anniversary Questions to Revisit Yearly
No matter how long you’ve been married, it’s always a good idea to check in with each other, make plans to work on your relationship's weaknesses, and celebrate your wins together. Here are some questions you can revisit every year, and see how your answers change over time.
- What was your favorite moment of this past year of our marriage?
- What is something new you learned about me this year?
- What is something in our relationship we can improve?
- What is our greatest strength as a couple?
- What are we looking forward to in the coming year?
- What is one of my quirks that you find endearing?
- What are three things you appreciate about me?
- How do you receive love? What do I do that makes you feel most loved? What can I do to help you feel more love from me?
Questions for Empty Nesters
As children leave home, couples can reset their relationship. Take time to reflect together on your new phase of life. Consider asking each other questions such as these:
- What is your favorite memory of our time together?
- Is there somewhere we want to travel together?
- What hopes and dreams can we pursue?
- What are you looking forward to doing together?
- How can we prioritize quality time together as empty nesters?
- Where can we start volunteering together?
- How can we continue to nurture and grow our love for each other in this next stage of life?
- What are your goals for this next chapter of our lives, both individually and as a couple?
Questions to Ask Other Couples
Couples married for a long time can give wise insights into how to build a successful relationship. How long have your parents been married? How about your grandparents? Think about other couples in your life whom you look up to. If you have relatives or friends with upcoming wedding anniversaries, consider asking them questions to give you ideas and advice for your own relationship.
- How, when, and where did you meet?
- What attracted you to each other?
- How do you handle conflicts and disagreements?
- Do you have shared interests and hobbies that you enjoy doing together?
- How have you handled upheavals and disappointments?
- How many children and grandchildren do you have?
- What is your biggest dream for your family?
- What do you do to continue to fall in love with each other?
- What is your best piece of marriage advice?
Write Your Personal Life Story
Have you thought about sitting down with your spouse and writing your life stories together? It might be instructive to see how your different paths led you to each other and your life now. It is also fun to see how you both saw the same events from different perspectives. Here are some questions to jump-start your memories:
- How would you tell the story of when we met for the first time?
- What was your first impression of me?
- How long had you known me when you knew you were in love?
- Who said “I love you” first?
- Who brought up marriage first?
- What do you wish you had known when we were married?
- How did you feel on our wedding day?
- How did I look on our wedding day?
- What was your biggest surprise about marriage during our first year?
Check out this article for more ideas on writing prompts to help you write your personal history.
Preserve Your Memories
Consider including time to reflect on the year and setting goals as part of your anniversary celebration. You can write your responses in a journal or make video or audio recordings to keep a record of your lives together. A good way to preserve the memories that matter most is FamilySearch Memories.
By default, FamilySearch Memories are public, so you can share them easily or have relatives look them up in the shared family tree. You can also mark special memories as private or to be shared only within small groups. Here are a few articles to help you:
Whichever way you choose to celebrate your anniversary and make goals for the future, make sure you keep records of your responses to see how your concerns and answers change over the years. If you ask these questions of your parents and grandparents, record their answers too! You will love having the record of their thoughts and memories of marriage to look back on for years to come.
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