Music is a powerful way to connect with other people. Whether you’re listening or performing, you can strengthen bonds with friends, family, and even strangers simply through music.
All over the world, wherever people gather, you often hear the sounds of voices, laughter—and music.
Music helps people connect with each other. It’s most obvious when you watch musicians performing together. They must cooperate, listen to each other, and synchronize their efforts. Often, you can see them smiling at each other. That’s not just part of the performance. The experience of singing together releases chemicals in the brain that increase pleasure and help people form closer, more trusting bonds.
But you don’t have to be a performer to choose connection through music. Simply listening to the same tunes with others can foster a sense of belonging. Music also helps us develop empathy, or a better understanding of what others may be thinking or feeling.
Connecting with Loved Ones through Music
Music is such a tradition in Amie Tennant’s family that no gathering ends without music. “My mother and her siblings formed a gospel singing group called ‘The Cole Family,’" recalls Amie Tennant of Ohio, United States. “My mother was the bass player. They traveled around Ohio, Kentucky, Virginia, and Tennessee singing old Pentecostal favorites like ‘Farther Along,’ ‘There Ain't No Grave,’ and ‘Jesus Is Coming Soon.’”
Although the band eventually dissolved, the extended family has kept the tradition alive. “The Cole Family Reunion always ends with a family sing-in," explains Amie. "Since my mom has arthritis, she hasn't played the bass in years. About 12 years ago, I decided we better have another girl in the band. I taught myself to play the guitar. The [other] guitar and piano players are now the grandkids and my last living uncle. The third and fourth generations of great-grandkids are learning the songs.”
“These hymns have been sung at many of our family funerals and have brought comfort to our hearts during hard times,” she reflects. “The memories I have of the sing-ins are some of my fondest childhood memories.”
Connecting Strangers through Music
Last year, music teacher, Emily Armour of British Columbia, Canada, introduced two groups of people through music: her young students and military veterans.
“My spouse is a veteran, and music is my trade,” Emily explains. “I thought that for our national Remembrance Day [which celebrates those who served in the military], I would invite my students to compose something for an individual veteran. It would give my students an opportunity to connect, and veterans really deserve to know that someone was thinking specifically about them.”
Students between the ages of 5 and 19 rose to their teacher’s challenge. “They were excited to be composing for a specific person,” says Emily. “They learned something about that person’s service, such as which branch they served with, and in which conflict. Not all of them had met veterans or thought much about them before, so it was an intimidating subject, but they were fearless about it. They put a lot of thought into personalizing it. For example, some students wrote ocean-themed music for Navy veterans.” (See this YouTube video from the CBC News highlight for an example of their work.)
When the students finished their compositions, they video recorded themselves playing them. These recordings, along with copies of sheet music, were sent to 33 veterans from across Canada. Among them were both men and women, some retired, some currently serving. “The veterans were really touched,” Emily reports. “I had hoped they would feel valued, and I think we achieved that. The veterans all wrote thank you messages and included a photo of themselves.”
Emily reflects on how music created bonds between the children and veterans. “The difference between a child and a veteran is so vast, with what they’ve experienced in their lives,” she acknowledges. “This meant the child was really trying to imagine how other people felt who were so extremely removed from them. They were thinking about it deeply and tapping into empathy. The veterans saw the effort of the upcoming generation and felt like their service mattered to them.”
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