Shadows Define the Light—Me Ra Koh's Story of Resilience and Hope

Me Ra Koh speaking on the Main Stage at RootsTech 2023

Me Ra Koh is a professional photographer and Sony Artisan of Imagery. She is also the author of self-help books and photography books, including Beauty Restored, Your Family in Pictures, and 4 Minutes to Hear God’s Voice. Koh spoke during RootsTech 2023 on Friday, March 3, at the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA.


Learning to Embrace Her Story

Koh began by explaining that “there's parts of my story that I am really proud of, and then there are parts of my story that are painful." Despite these discouraging moments, she is a believer "that even the most painful things in our family history can become the strength for our future."

Koh shared a succession of traumatic experiences thrust upon her that caused a spiral downward through the teenage and young adult years. Eventually, in desperation, she checked herself into a locked psychiatric ward. As Koh lay on the hard floor of her room crying, she pled, “God, if you can take this shattered heart and piece it back together, I will spend the rest of my life telling everyone else that there is hope."

"And God took that whispered prayer," Koh said, smiling. "And he ran with it.” Through her pleadings and expert counseling, Koh was able to find peace. Her first book, Beauty Restored, was published the same day that her first daughter, Pascaline, was born. This was a time in her life where Koh could look to hope and healing.

However, another painful moment was still in store. While on tour for her book, Koh was rushed to the hospital and faced the loss of her second child. She found herself spiraling down again, barely able to leave the living room sofa. One afternoon, a shaft of light coming through the window focused on a quietly playing Pascaline, now fourteen months old. Koh described that light as "like liquid gold," and in that moment, she saw Pascaline's life right in front of her. Koh realized that she wanted to capture that moment and every other moment of the life she still had. Photography gave her a way to process the grief and boldly embrace her story.

Me Ra Koh showing her photography and explaining that shadows define light during her RootsTech 2023 keynote

Picking Up the Camera

From that day, Koh took up photography—a craft she had felt inadequate to embrace before—to capture redemptive moments in people’s lives. In photography, Koh says that"shadows define the light." She explained that this same phenomenon happens in life. "The parts of those things in my life that I feel ashamed about, that's actually what defines the light."

In 2007, Sony corporate leaders invited Koh to their headquarters in San Diego, California, USA. The executives were aware of her traumatic past, her time in the treatment facility, and were impressed by her recovery. They were moved by the hope and resilience that her photographs depicted. “We believe the world is desperate now for authenticity, and we just want to expand your platform,” they told her. Koh was one of the first women sponsored by Sony.

Koh and her husband have a photo studio in Frisco, Texas, USA. Their sole focus is to help people "see [their] true identity, know [their] purpose better, and even bring unexpected healing to [their] family. We call it our Rising Phoenix Experience." Before each photo shoot, Koh and her team do phone calls with the client's friends and family. During the photo shoot, clients listen as the answers to these questions are read to them. Typically, they are surprised at the words their families and friends use to describe them. Those words of life begin to call those qualities out of the person, rising to the surface in their emotion and expressions, and that is when Koh takes the photo.

Rise from the Ashes

Koh's photos remind people of their resilience, of joyous moments that help them see their strengths more clearly and move forward boldly. Koh emphasized that we can choose whether the positive moments or the negative moments become the narrative of our story.“I am not in any way saying that you should put rose-colored glasses on and look over all the parts of your family history that may be disappointing, that may be discouraging...I give you permission to embrace the shadows and let the light be that much more accurate for you."

Jajuan Winesberry's wall art and his daughters looking it.

Our descendants will someday find both our proud and our painful moments."They will also see a story of resilience," Koh reminded us, "a story of hope and forgiveness and someone in [their] family lineage choosing their narrative. Because no matter what you’ve gone through, you get to choose the narrative."

"And that’s what it means to rise like a phoenix. That’s what it means to rise up from the ashes."

"Our Story Is Everything"

After Koh finished speaking to a standing ovation, Tamra Stansfield of FamilySearch presented her with her parents’ family trees. Several of her mother’s lines extended 7 generations into British Colonial America. History for her father’s lines were found on a Korean JokBo, which was presented on a scroll that stretched across the stage. It contained names of 32 generations of her ancestors that had been passed down through the ages since 880 AD. In seconds, that scroll helped Koh go from a family tree of 2 generations to being united with 1,143 years of family history.

The JokBo for Me Ra Koh's father being unrolled across the stage

“What is so powerful about this scroll...is that regardless of the pain my father and I have gone through, it is so redemptive," Koh remarked. "We are both in that scroll...the good, the pain, the shame we’ve overcome. Our story is everything. Nothing is worth more than that."

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About the Author
Diane Sagers was a freelance writer for about 30 years. For 27 of those years, among other things, she wrote 2 to 4 newspaper columns weekly for the Tooele Transcript. She also created and edited a magazine for 27 years, wrote numerous articles for other publications, wrote chapters for several published books, edited documents, and ran a tour company. For the past several years, she has served as a volunteer public relations and marketing writer for FamilySearch and the Family History Library. When she isn't writing, she enjoys spending time with her 6 children, their spouses, and 25 terrific grandchildren, doing genealogy research and teaching others, cooking, sewing, playing piano, gardening, and traveling.